good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
