Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize