Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
