who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
