I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
