I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize