So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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