guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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