i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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