My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
