Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
