I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
