Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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