So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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