he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
