garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
