can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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