I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
