Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
