i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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