remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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