these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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