Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
