Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
