I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
