I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Randomize
