Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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