i just google imaged poop.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
