Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
