i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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