the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
