by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
