Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(289): View more from Ontario

I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.

(647): View more from Ontario

It's sore actually

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(281): View more from Texas

All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".

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(503): View more from Oregon

Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

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(605): View more from South Dakota

We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...

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(419): View more from Ohio

had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.

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(909): View more from California

I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!

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