she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
