Cold hands, warm shart.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
