Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
