i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
this is an emotional support booty call
When are your genitals available?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
