she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
