There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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