quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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