Tell her she can't have a vagina
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
