i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
