I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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