is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
