I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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