Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
