i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
