nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
