worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
