belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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