he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
