i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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