Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Pooping to opera.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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