"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
