So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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