Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
