She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
