My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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