Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
