he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
