It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
