we have officially lost it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My vagina just clenched in fear
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
