I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
