So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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