so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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