I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
