stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
