it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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