Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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