Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
