I feel great
I just peed on a car
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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