I'm lost and stupid without you.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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