I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
